I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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