I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
