why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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