If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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