He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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