i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
