Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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