He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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