Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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