pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize