Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
