im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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