I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
