I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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