Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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