he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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