Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
