i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
