Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize