I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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