your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
