just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
