you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
