idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Two words: blizzard sex
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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