He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
