WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
