life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
