Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Dicks are not precious.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
