Soap is not a condiment
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
my liver is dry heaving
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
