Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize