I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
