He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
