He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
