I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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