the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
