What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
