If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
