what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
