I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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