So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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