Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
