i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
