I'm jealous of your bromance
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
