i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
