Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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