I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
