but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
