he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
