no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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