Welp...herpes.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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