I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
And then he peed in my hair
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