he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
