Dual....:-)
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
