i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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