my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
