wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
