i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
