I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
